Twins (October 26th, 2011)

I'm sorry to ask

but do you have panic attacks?

Do you worry yourself to bits?

No, please

don't walk away.

I know it's invasive

and I wouldn't ask but

you get it.

I think we might be the same.

True Twins,

because I think you're as lost as me.

Please excuse me for saying so.

If we could talk for a minute

without a joke or a jump

we could maybe just use each other

as a soundboard.

You're far away,

in bed with me.

Close my eyes and hear your voice

through a tunnel.

You sound like me.

And if I'm right

(and I've got a hunch)

you're sorely afraid of what you could do

if you stayed in your head

Breathe

trust me.

Let me go down the list

of your heart and blood.

Let me run my hand over yours

and whisper what I feel.

First is love conquering all, yes?

Then denial, wreckage. Shh, it's okay.

Third, you are bitter about the one that threw you away.

Now I'm scattering kisses over your two masks

knowing that you don't know which is your face.

Fifth, I feel your scars from pulling free.

My fingers stutter over ambition.

Then I felt the lies you spun for love

the sweat you spent in vain.

Quiet, now, while I heal the cuts

of the realization of futility.

Ninth, the knots of impatience in your knuckles.

The skin is dry with the rub of the chains

holding you to those words around you.

And finally, the eleventh wound,

an old one you keep reopening.

I feel you still waiting.

Don't turn away

Twins, like you and me,

stick together

because only we know what it's like.